“For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. 24 You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. 25 But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.” James 1:23-25
It often feels easier to share our experiences of betrayal. I’ve come to understand over the past week that confronting it within ourselves is much more challenging. After I wrote my blog post titled, “Betrayed By A Righteous Father,” something deep inside me changed. It was unlocked and laid bare. I found myself unable to write, unable to advance, and trapped in a state of confusion, disconnection, and silence. As I attempted to push through to write, all I continued to face was a blank page. I heard the Holy Spirit whisper, “You can’t write because you’re not ready to move on. I have some work I want to do regarding your blog in your heart.”
As I settled into my chair, a thought crossed my mind. “I really can’t afford to waste time right now.” I need to finish my next blog by Monday. Skipping a week isn’t an option!” Then, I felt a gentle nudge from the Holy Spirit asking, “Why not?” I paused, realizing that research shows consistency is key to keeping my readers engaged. The voice continued, “Doesn’t your healing hold any significance?” How can you encourage others, if you’re not willing to invest in yourself first by confronting the issues that arise through your writing? I quickly replied, “What do you mean? I’ve already addressed my issues with my father! Then I heard, “It didn’t start with your father and it won’t end with him. I will ask you again: have you truly dealt with all your betrayals?
I found myself reflecting on the complexity of the question posed. Have I genuinely confronted and processed all the betrayals I’ve endured? Or have I dismissed them as if they were trivial? I failed to see that the Holy Spirit was softly guiding me. This guidance helped me understand that each betrayal led me to build a barrier to protect myself and ultimately separate myself from Him. I convinced myself that I was facing the pain and emotions tied to these experiences. In truth, I was merely hiding them away. I reassured myself by saying, “I forgave them and their betrayal.” I thought I was good while quietly stacking everything behind the walls of my heart which brought hidden secrets. I thought I understood the true nature of forgiveness. Yet, I never chose to release my wounds and feelings. I unknowingly misled myself.
I paused and prayed, “Holy Spirit, please help me uncover the walls and secret lies I’ve built around myself. Please expose these past betrayals.” In an instant, memories flooded back, vivid and fresh, as if they had just occurred. Tears streamed down my face, I realized how deeply these experiences connected my heart to my sense of self. I now understand how they created doubts and caused me to question the truth of who Christ says I am.
As these thoughts surfaced, I began to express my feelings. Here is an example of what I did:
I said, “Mom, I release the hurt I experienced from you. This feeling made me think you didn’t fight for me. It made me believe you didn’t help me become the woman I was meant to be. Dad, I let go of the pain from being raised in a way that didn’t align with my true self. That brought confusion to my identity.” I choose to forgive you both. I am letting go of these lies that made me feel unworthy, rejected, or not enough.
Scripture says, “Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be a holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to Himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.” Ephesians 1:4-5.
I cling to this promise and release these betrayals and cast them far from me. I ask you, Holy Spirit, to fill the spaces left by these wounds with the fruit of your spirit. I release the pain and fear from my heart. I pray a blessing over my parents for their sacrifices in everything they have done for me. Thank you Father for healing my heart and removing this betrayal! Amen!
Please take this time to reflect on what the Holy Spirit is trying to bring to your memory. Don’t go into the New Year carrying betrayals of the past any longer. It’s easy to say we’re fine. Instead, be still and invest in your healing. If we truly listen, we can discover so much more freedom Christ has for us. If we open our hearts completely to the Holy Spirit, He will guide us and reveal important insights during those quiet moments.
Look at yourself, take authority, and release yourself through the power of the Holy Spirit. Steps I took:
- Ask the Holy Spirit to expose your betrayals and guide you through them.
- Identify the act of betrayal. (person/place)
- Share how this experience impacted you personally, focusing on your feelings rather than assigning blame.
- Allow yourself time to grieve this betrayal.
- Extend forgiveness to yourself and the individuals involved.
- Seek out a scripture that reflects God’s truth concerning your experience.
- Embrace the promise and let go of the betrayal, casting it away as if into the ocean’s depths.
- Invite the Holy Spirit to fill the space in your heart and mind that you have just cleared out. Remind yourself of who Christ says you are!
- Offer a prayer of blessing for the person who betrayed you.
- Express gratitude to God for the healing you have experienced.
Listening to God’s Word is essential. However, what truly matters is our willingness to follow it. We must put His teaching into practice. The true measure of our time in the Word lies in how it influences our actions, attitudes, and obedience. Are you actively applying what you’ve learned? It’s crucial to recognize that God’s law reveals our sinful nature. It also provides us with the chance to seek His forgiveness.
Romans 7:7-8 reminds us, “What shall we say then? Is the Law sin? Certainly not! On the contrary, if it had not been for the Law, I would not have recognized sin. For I would not have known [for example] about coveting [what belongs to another and would have had no sense of guilt] if the Law had not [repeatedly] said, “You shall not covet.” 8 But sin, finding an opportunity through the commandment [to express itself] produced in me every kind of coveting and selfish desire. For without the Law, sin is dead [the recognition of sin is inactive].”
As Christians, we are saved by God’s grace, which liberates us from the grip of sin. This freedom allows us to live according to God’s design for us. Yet, this does not grant us the license to act or respond recklessly.
As stated in 1 Peter 2: 16 states, “Live as free people, but do not use your freedom as a cover or pretext for evil, but [use it and live] as bond-servants of God.”
We are now empowered to obey God so are you ready to let go of our betrayals? Are you prepared to expose the reflection of your past or current betrayals? We can no longer waste time pointing blame and demanding justice. I encourage you to go into the new year clean! What do you want to look like or see, when you look in the mirror?
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