What’s Bringing Division Into Your Family

“Now the man Adam knew Eve as his wife, and she conceived and gave birth to Cain, and she said, “I have obtained a man (baby boy, son) with the help of the Lord.” And [later] she gave birth to his brother Abel. Now Abel kept the flocks [of sheep and goats], but Cain cultivated the ground. And in the course of time Cain brought to the Lord an offering of the fruit of the ground. But Abel brought [an offering of] the [finest] firstborn of his flock and the fat portions. And the Lord had respect (regard) for Abel and for his offering; but for Cain and his offering He had no respect. So Cain became extremely angry (indignant), and he looked annoyed and hostile.” Genesis 4:1-5

Family of Adam and Eve

Life in the Garden of Eden reflected the paradise of heaven on earth, where everything was in perfect harmony. If Adam and Eve had followed God’s guidance, they would have enjoyed eternal happiness. What compelled them to consider rebelling against God and forfeit such an amazing gift? Scripture tells us that God walked through the garden looking for them, (3:8) which emphasizes a profound personal relationship with God.

Yet, as time passed, it appeared their awe and reverence for God diminished over time. Familiarity can lead to complacency, causing us to underestimate the significance of submitting fully to God’s authority. This gradual shift can make us believe that we stand equally with God. While it may seem absurd, think about how we often overlook or downplay the divine power presented in the house of God and disregard the sacred space within ourselves where the Holy Spirit dwells.

Adam and Eve severed their bond with God when they chose to trust their judgment over His. This choice made them aware of their nakedness, prompting them to hide and rationalize their actions. By eating the forbidden fruit, they inadvertently caused a rift in both their covenant with God and their marriage covenant. Our marriages should reflect the nature and attributes of God! When our reverence for God diminishes, our hearts can become fragmented, leading to inconsistent loyalties. If we fail to confront this division in our marriage, it can affect our children and families, potentially causing lasting damage. Our children and family reflect the nature of our covenant. If our household is divided, that division will echo throughout generations. Ensuring that our family legacy stays untarnished is a commitment to securing the best possible future for our loved ones.

After they were banished from the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve had two sons: Cain and Abel. In this narrative, we see Abel offered the finest portion as his gift, while Cain presented a gift. What led to the rift in the brothers’ devotion to the Lord? As parents, we sometimes tend to blame ourselves for not parenting effectively, not doing enough, or not doing it correctly. However, both possess the free will to choose a path so ultimately, they have a decision to make.

As we draw near to God, the Holy Spirit will expose existing generational curses that may be affecting us and lead us to the open doors that we need to confront and sever. Following Christ is a personal choice, regardless of our background. While society encourages us to point fingers, the truth is that we hold the responsibility for our own choices and decisions.  Shifting blame onto others does nothing to heal our hearts; instead, it fosters bitterness, anger, and a sense of entrapment. We start to witness this same development in Cain’s life.

Cain took Abel’s life and faced exile from the land. Adam and Eve not only mourned the loss of Abel but also the banishment of Cain. In a tragic twist, they lost both of their sons in such a short span. Their lineage became marked by disobedience, exile, and murder. While Adam and Eve may have perceived their act of eating fruit as a minor transgression, it’s evident how swiftly their sinful tendencies manifested into their offspring. What began as a simple act of disobedience spiraled into the grave act of murder. Adam and Eve’s rebellion was directed solely at God, but Cain’s actions turned against both God and humanity. A seemingly small sin can escalate. A small sin has a way of growing uncontrollably. I urge you to seek God’s guidance with your “little” sins before they turn into significant heartache and tragedy.

Jesus tells us, “Do you think I have come to bring peace to the earth? No, I have come to divide people against each other! From now on families will be split apart, three in favor of me, and two against—or two in favor and three against. ‘Father will be divided against son and son against father; mother against daughter and daughter against mother; and mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.” (Luke 12:51-53)

Jesus was also clear, that his arrival and presence frequently lead to discord and conflict. His call for a response can create rifts within families, as some decide to embrace His teaching while others turn away. There is no room for neutrality with Jesus; He requires unwavering loyalty and dedication, which can sometimes lead to the breaking of family bonds. When our children reach a certain age, it’s essential to entrust them back to God. Holding on too tightly can hinder -the divine plan- God has for their future. Relying on our desires to control our family dynamics instead of placing our trust in God can lead to increased conflict within our family. When we find ourselves bringing fights home, it often stems from helplessness. Instead of resorting to arguments, we should turn to prayer. It’s essential to seek guidance from the Holy Spirit, asking for direction in our prayer time for our marriage, children, and family, instead of placing blame for things out of our control.

Scripture tells us that, “Adam had sexual relations with his wife again, and she gave birth to another son. She named him Seth, for she said, “God has granted me another son in place of Abel, whom Cain killed.” (Gen. 4:25) Their family was divided into two factions: one that embraced temptation and wickedness, and another that was devoted to the worship of our Lord and Savior, represented through descendants of Seth. Seth was destined to succeed Abel as the leader of a faithful lineage, and it was through Seth’s descendants that God chose to bring forth Noah.

Choosing to follow Christ sometimes requires us to distance ourselves from those who manipulate or exert control over situations. At the same time, we must find the strength to step away from toxic individuals who aim to dominate our lives and families. This can be particularly challenging when it involves extended family members like siblings or parents. While sometimes division can be necessary, it’s important to remember that Christ can heal, restore, and mend any fractures in our relationships.

Take a moment to consider whether the divisions you are experiencing are a result of your commitment to Christ or if they are influenced by others’ suggestions. I urge you to seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit for yourself regarding the conflicts within your family. It may be worth reflecting on your role in the situation if you find yourself unwilling to forgive, harbor bitterness, or struggle to let go of grievances. Scripture tells us, “If you forgive those who sin against you, your Father in heaven will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive you!” (Matt. 6:14-15) When in doubt, discuss these issues with a spiritual leader who will tell you the “God’s truth” vs. what you want to hear. Any advice should always match up with the Word of God! Be honest with yourself, “What’s bringing division into your family?” Are your actions the cause of the rift in your family, or are your actions paving the way for healing and reconciliation? What legacy are you bringing into your family: division or loyalty?

Prayer:

Heavenly Father, we come before you seeking clarity on the influences of unbelief, doubt, and disobedience we’ve allowed into our family dynamics, whether as a daughter, sister, mother, or grandmother.  Scripture tells us, “…If we walk with the wise we become wise but if we associate with fools we will get in trouble.” (Prov. 13:20) Holy Spirit, reveal to me if  I am surrounding myself with wisdom or folly. I recognize this may be difficult for me to confront, but I am weary of the turmoil within my family. The constant fighting, arguments, and disagreements leave us forgetting what truly matters. I surrender everything to you so that our family can find peace. Your word assures me that, “.. I will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard my heart and mind as I live in Christ Jesus.” (Philip 4:7) I not only pray for my families peace but also for those….. who have wronged me. I choose to forgive ……who have caused division in my home and family. I also repent for ……allowing negativity to enter our home. I repent for my behavior.…. Thank you, Holy Spirit, for the restoration and unity you are bringing to my family. Even when the evidence is not visible, I will continue to believe in your promises!